Step-Parenting – 3 Tips for Happier & Healthier Families

Step-Parenting – 3 Tips for Happier & Healthier Families

Don’t take things personally. It is the second of the Four Agreements (if you haven’t read you should) and one that I did not fully understand until assuming my role as a step-parent to two amazing girls, 11 and 8.

To be clear, I am not married to their father, but by living in the same household with them, I take my commitment and impact on their lives very seriously and consider myself a step-parent.

This pseudo parenting role where I am friend, parent, role model, and sometimes mediator to a broken family can be exhausting. I have spent many hours working to learn new tools and skills to make my family and myself healthier and happier. Here are the three things I practice on a daily basis to not just survive but thrive in this very important role that this life has gifted me!

1. Don’t take things personally. I started with this one because it is the MOST important one for me. Why? Because practicing this is in direct proportion to how connected I feel to my family. “You’re not my mom”. This is a fact. I am not their mom, but the second I take this as a personal attack on my character I go into protection mode, get defensive, and leave little room to express the love I truly have in my heart for these kids. “My mom doesn’t do it like that.” Again, fact. She might do it differently. We are different people. But if I choose to hear this as I am doing something wrong, then I am feel bad about myself for no reason. The more I can practice not taking things personally the happier and more connected I feel.

2. Let go of control. I am a bit of a control-freak and prefer to be in charge of a situation. Control is not in the job description of step-parent. My girls are lucky enough to have two loving and amazing parents; so where does that leave me? It leaves me to practice letting go and loving unconditionally. There are a million little things that happen in a day, week, or month that are just plain not up to me. They are up to mom and dad; and I am neither. I am blessed to have an incredible partner who respects and asks for my opinion often, however, at the end of the day my job is to offer my opinion and then LET IT GO. When I practice this I feel so much lighter, happier, and at ease. It also allows me to just love them. To me, this is THE biggest gift of being a step-parent. I am not the parent. I just get to love them, unconditionally, that’s it!

3. Use healthy boundaries. Last and certainly not least I practice using boundaries. This is not one that comes naturally for me as I am a bit of a people-pleaser and like to take care of everything (there’s that control again!) but knowing when to say no, take time for yourself, and not be so accommodating can be a wonderful thing. When my partner asks if we can switch a Saturday we had to ourselves to have the kids and I was looking forward to spending the day with just him, or their mom needs something dropped off or picked up and it adds stress to my day IT IS OK TO SAY NO. Let me say that again, it is OK to say NO. I check-in with myself on what I need and then I have to ask for it – no one is a mind-reader 😉 (but that’s another post for another day)

The skills and tools I outlined and use in my role as a step-parent can apply to virtually any relationship or family dynamic. The kids, my partner, and I participate with the Kidz Kourse, Heart, Mind and Soul Parenting course, and anything else we can get our hands on to be our best selves, and as a result our best family. I would encourage everyone to do the same!

Kate Ising is a Sales and Marketing Executive, Writer, Yogi, Self-help junkie, avid Traveler, and Food-lover who lives in Miami with her partner, two girls, and puppy.

Check out the upcoming courses on

lifetimelearningconnections.com, or

Email me with any questions, ktising@gmail.com

 

Inspirational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Today’s Inspirational Focus

Inspiring quotes that can help change your mood.

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.

~ The Alchemist

Consider the following inspirational quotes…

Make life a game. Every day is a new day.
You make the rules every day.

~ Anonymous

Inspirational Lifetime Learning Connections

 

Many marriages would be
better if the husband and
the wife clearly understood
that they are on the same
side.

~ Zig Ziglar

 

I AM master of my thoughts…

I am an observer. I listen more than I talk. My thoughts create my reality. I turn intense emotions into useful manifesting tools. YES! Is an attitude word I use often. I believe in my Self. I trust my Self. I keep sacred my words and promises. I set achievable goals.

~ L.E. Okaily

 

“It’s best to not ask questions if you know you will resist the answer.”

~ Corey Herter

 

Clearing Blocks to Success

Inspirational Lifetime Learning ConnectionsAsk yourself one of these questions at a time and write down your answers:

  1. What is my underlying belief around money?
  2. Why am I choosing to think I can’t create that?
  3. Why am I choosing to give my power away to someone else?

Which one of these patterns most applies to you?

  1. I start a project then I don’t follow through.
  2. I start, follow through up to a point, and then never finish.
  3. I can’t get started.

We use tapping as a technique to see past the reasons and excuses that our brain comes up with for keeping us from something that would be good for us, or something we enjoy. The goal of tapping is to give us the freedom to move past the point of pain that is causing a block to something.

Create your life the way you want it to be and let others do the same.

To learn more, visit www.lifetimelearningconnections.org

 

Lifetime Learning Connections

The Kidz Kourse |
The Teenz Kourse | Adventures in Wisdom Life Coaching

Kids and Teens – Emotional Freedom from Stress and Pain

We are inspired by seeing how early use of tapping (aka EFT) can help resolve social issues kids and teens come up against in social situations. It is not the only tool they need, but a very useful one to learn. They get it. They share it. Their environment changes for the better.

As a volunteer at Lifetime Learning Connections’ Kidz Kourse I have had the opportunity to witness miraculous personality changes. Kids come in with a lot of anger, shame, guilt, and fear that they do not understand or know how to handle. They have been having outbursts at home and/or in school. Their siblings may bully them or that happens at school. In some cases they may act the bully part themselves and have trouble with friendships. Their parents bring them to the Kidz Kourse hoping for the best. When they pick up their children on Sunday, the last day of the course, they are overjoyed with how their children become. Self-esteem has changed for the better. Families life gets easier. Going to work and school becomes more cooperative.

In addition to the Kidz Kourse, a new Teenz Kourse will be coming. Make sure you are getting the Lifetime Learning Connections newsletter for more information.

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